horror movie opening scene

white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

syntheticmomma:

lupusadlunam:

thechangelingmedusa:

Like seriously, why isn’t pole dancing an olympic sport? This is freakin gymnastics. This is strength and skill. This is not sexual whatsoever. Why does pole dancing have to be so stigmatised as a sexual thing that only strippers do? I have great respect for all people who can pull this off. This is art and beauty right here. 

HEY FUN FACT: pole dancing is known as something strippers do because strippers invented it. And that’s okay! It’s okay to have respect for strippers and the hard work they put into what they do! Let’s stop trying to take the stripper part out of pole dancing so upperclass white girls can do it without being ~stigmatized~ because god forbid women be sexual.


themarvellousmagnusbane:

Shadowhunter Simon asking the Iron sisters to craft him a lightsaber out of adamas


retrogradeworks:

castielonfire:

marina-and-the-carbon:

heartofalifer:

SOMETIMES I GET SO FUCKING ANGRY WHEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM A GIRL BECAUSE MY MONEY HAS TO GO TO BUYING BRAS FOR THESE STUPID ORGANIC MILK BAGS AND PADS FOR MONTHLY UNWANTED SUBSCRIPTION OF LUCIFER’S WATERFALL LIKE WTF MAN WHY DONT THESE THINGS COME FREE WHEN MY UNWANTED PACKAGE IS GIVEN TO ME SERIOUSLY THO

Lucifer’s waterfall is the best description of periods I have ever heard

organic milk bags

LUCIFER’S WATERFALL


highgaarden:

in-sepiatones:

talking to people about my obsessions pretending im just a casual fan

#conceal don’t feel


prongsmydeer:

Harry Potter AU where someone sees Harry in his cousin’s over-sized clothing with his underfed body and hears him casually mention the cupboard in which he sleeps and calls the fucking police


|I mean, I hope you’re happy,
But the sky is still the sky without you,
And I’m not surprised by that anymore.
Caitlyn Siehl, from This is Not a Love Poem (via johnstaymoist)

blastortoise:

it’s weird how straight boys will find out that a girl is bisexual and then think that girl wants to fuck them with another girl. And if they find out a guy is gay they think that guy wants to fuck them.

No one wants to have sex with you. You are are not cute. At all.



thedeluminators:

Hey guys! So as you know, John Green’s birthday is on the 24th, and we decided to make a song parody video about Nerdfighteria for it. I hope you like it! DFTBA


edwardspoonhands:

maureenjohnsonbooks:

fishingboatproceeds:

hazelshaw:

John’s 2 lines in TFIOS

I originally only had one line, but then Shailene encouraged me to improvise, which I did such a good job of that…yeah. Not in the movie. I’M ON THE DVD, THOUGH!

I coached him.*

* I did not coach John.

THIS IS SUPER WEIRD! 


THE MOCKINGJAY LIVES

clavid:

ogfoodnun:

why is he so happy

Jesus Christ he just gave birth let him have his moment


|I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.
(via voodoofingers)